2nd try at the 1st Day of School

So, round 2 of the 1st Day of School was yesterday. To say I was nervous is an understatement. After last week's shenanigans, Evan and I were somewhat of a wreck. Let's just say that after about an hour of running around town, I realized that my shirt was on inside out. When I ran to the bathroom to fix this problem, I also noticed that my underwear was on backwards. Yes, you heard me, not inside out but backwards. We don't need to address that situation any further, thanks.

On Tuesday morning, we decided to play it cool. No fancy clothes, no pictures. Just our normal routine with Matt Lauer and (now) Savannah Guthrie in the background (why didn't they promote Natalie Morales??), an assortment of breakfast foods, a ton of coffee for me, and some playtime for the little guy. He was more than happy for our morning field trip, probably assuming that I was taking him somewhere awesome like Gymboree or Daddy's distillery. Russman didn't even punch me in the face when we walked through the school doors. The tears only began to flow when I tried to put his name tag on his back. ("Why do I need a name tag? Hello, I'm the huge redhead kid. I'm like 17 lbs bigger than anyone else at this school. I also barf when I cry. And I still like bottles. Big deal.") At this point, I knew that I had to hand him off and get out of there as fast as possible.

Once I was home, I waited by the phone for an hour. To my surprise, nobody called. I started to run pointless errands like going into Bath and Body Works. I mean, who even goes there when they aren't having their after-Christmas sale? I walked in, fumbled around and quickly left. I wondered if it was a coincidence that a police officer immediately followed me into Jamba Juice. What was I even doing here? It was time to get myself together and take advantage of having some time without Russ. So after the dry cleaners and grocery store, I decided to get my oil changed. This would be the first time in the history of my Jeep that I would get my oil changed on time. (Normally, Evan politely reminds me once I'm several thousand miles over.) Kwik Kar, here I come....well, until the second nervous parent in this relationship called. Evan said he couldn't get Russ out of his head and that he wanted to meet up. So the two of us grabbed lunch, could barely eat, took our doggie bags and were off to school to grab our guy.

When we arrived, he was upset because some of the other parents picked their kiddos up early. Apparently once one parent arrives, the little ones become anxious for their own parents. So now, instead of picking him up at 2- all the moms are going to fight to be the first to pick up their baby. I'm sorry but this is MY day. I pay till 2. Stop messing things up, early moms. Anyway, we were shocked to hear that the teacher got Russ to sleep on a NAP MAT for an hour. Evan doesn't believe her, but this is a Baptist school and I don't think Baptists are allowed to lie. He also made a picture which is the best thing I have ever laid eyes on. I can already tell we need a new house because I don't have enough wall space to hang up all of his pictures. Overall, I think he had an ok time and "ok" is good enough for his 2nd round of the 1st day of school.

I know, it's amazing.

We thought he would crash once he got home. Just the opposite, he was out of control wildman.

*I apologize that I don't have proof about my clothing issues. My mom and mother-in-law read my blog.

Pre-School Fail

Mother's Day Out is like pre-pre-school. Everyone I know puts their little guy or gal in school around Russ' age. I know, school for a one year old? Sounds dumb but it's awesome.

The school trend is actually a simple equation:
1 yr= 1 day, 2 yr= 2 days, 3= 3 days, 4 = 4, 5=kindergarten.

Mother's Day Out is outstanding for many reasons. First, my super shy son can learn to be without me while making friends, discovering new things, and enjoying music, recess and chapel. He can also learn that he is ok when he is not attached to me. This time is equally important for me, so I can do things like shop at Ann Taylor Loft and drink cheap wine at Hollywood Nails. Yeah right, I wish. Let's try again... This time is also important to me so I can learn to be without my son and realize that I, too, will be ok. Oh yeah, I can also do things like wash my car, dry my hair, and go to the dentist.

Yesterday was Meet the Teacher. I was so nervous that Evan would spend the entire time pacing the halls with a crying Russ while I listened to the teacher tell me that she would have all ten 1 yr olds sleeping on nap mats. What? However, we were both impressed as Russ peacefully hung out and played with the toys. We left knowing that this was one of the best decisions we were making. Last night, I was so excited as I pictured Russ wearing his extra preppy 1st Day of School Clothes, while planning Evan's and my cool lunch date in Deep Ellum. It was like Christmas.

Exploring the recess room at Meet the Teacher

Well, today was the big day. Everything was perfect. The end.

Ok, well actually it was a disaster. He made it known that he was not a fan of his prepster gear, he hated his backpack, and the nap mat was just ridiculous. ("Mom, I sleep in a crib. While I appreciate that you spent $49 on this puffy nap mat with sports balls all over it, let's just be open and honest about this. You wasted your money and might as well just give it to Ollie.") The good news is that we managed to get one picture of Russ not crying- ok he was crying but you can't tell because it was taken from behind.

Evan had a meeting this morning, so I was on my own taking the school boy to campus. Holy mackerel. So, as I was squatting down, neatly putting his baseball backpack, camo lunchbox, sports-themed nap mat, diapers, sippy cup (that he also hates) in his cubby, he decided he had had enough and pulled on my shirt. I lost my balance and literally fell on him. At this point I am sprawled across the hallway on top of my son and another Dad who witnessed this, uncomfortably said, "Wow. Strong little guy." and scooped up his adorable little girl and got the heck out of our way. So, this obviously makes dropping him off to his new teacher fun. (Let me note that the teachers are amazing, loving and experienced women.) Russ, of course, still not over the fact that I steamrolled him in public, screams bloody murder as he realizes that even his clumsy mom is a better option than the stranger. Once I had delivered the goods, I decided to use the restroom in order to buy some time to spy on Russ. His crying had calmed down a little, so I bolted. I had a disgusting car to wash and was not going to go another day with red crayon melted all over my cup holders. I literally made it half way through the car wash when the phone rang. Russ had barfed. He made it 44 minutes. And I STILL had melted red crayon in the car. Dang it.

I had no choice. Russ already knew the trick. You barf at school? You're done. Free to go. So I grabbed him, chatted with the director about a plan to get him used to school, and Russ had an awesome time eating out of his camo lunchbox at the carwash. So what did I learn today? I guess you can take a 1 yr old to a car wash.

*** I forgot to mention the fact that Russ still drinks from a bottle- like, a lot. He doesn't do a paci or have a lovie- but he enjoys sippin' back a cold one a few times a day. Can't blame him. So, during the "Any questions?" time when all the parents just stare at each other, I raised my hand and asked, "Is it ok if I bring a bottle? Russ still takes them several times a day." The room went silent. Dead silent. Everyone stared at me like I had walked in with a cost-co sized peanut butter jar in this nut-free school. The teacher smiled apologetically and said she was sure she could figure something out. What was happening? Well, after we left, Evan told me it sounded as though I was still breastfeeding my 15 month old (I guess this is where I have to say- "Not that there is anything wrong with that."- but there is. My son has like 87 teeth, so we knocked that off months ago.) So now, I'm the weirdo that is probably related to the chick on Time magazine with the 5 year old attached to her chest. So, as of today, I don't think Russ and I have many friends at that school.

Russ enjoying his first day of school

Russ wearing his "extra clothes for those just-in-case moments." Too bad he "just-in-cased" all over himself to get out of school. Here he is happily eating out of his lunch box at the carwash. 

Strike a Pose

You know how every girl age 14-22 (and moms on "Moms' Night Out) makes that kissy fish face in every picture? Well, Russ has a favorite pose too. It's hilarious.

Not sure what to call it...
"Throw ya hands in tha air like ya just don't care."
"Praise Jesus." (In a Melissa Gorka New Jersey accent.)
"No pictures, please."

Help me name this pose!

Nawlins Vow Renewal

Bride and Groom at the French Quarter Wedding Chapel

On June 9th, Evan and I celebrated 5 years of marriage! As many of you know, our relationship started in New Orleans, LA. About 10 years ago, we rode across from each other on a bus from College Station, TX to New Orleans, LA. It was on this bus that I decided that I liked Evan more than a friend.  We went on to celebrate my 20th birthday in New Orleans, followed by many Pi Kapp formals, a proposal, our son's first vacay, and now our 5 year vow renewal! We celebrated with Evan's oldest friend, Matt, and his awesome wife, Chrissi!

This Is Rev. Tony- he had 2 teeth on the bottom and spoke just like the guy from Princess Bride. Perfect.

Our complimentary bottle of champagne ($3 Andre) and cake

Mom's Music Camp

In case you don't have a little one, let me inform you that there are a handful of cool activities that are offered for children around town. The problem is that everything costs 1 million dollars. The most awesome class I've found is a music class offered at Kidville. They actually audition and hire local musicians to form a band that plays and teaches music to kids ages newborn to 6. Sounds amazing right? Yeah, except for the fact that it's over $500. Normally I'm the cheapo in our family but this time Evan had to remind me that our son was one and didn't need a semester of music school. I almost karate chopped him when he asked, "Can't you just do your own music class at home?" So that is exactly what we are doing now. Mom's Music Camp.

It actually just happened on its own. Russ has inherited my adorableness and Evan's attention span. He won't even look at kid programs on tv. When I told everyone that he loved "I'm Elmo and I know it," I lied. He didn't look at it for more than 10 seconds...I was the one who got the biggest kick out of it and even made my neighbor, Ashley, come over and watch it with me. So, a few days ago we started our normal morning routine of tearing up the house while playing with every single toy. I decided to YouTube videos of my favorite musician, Bob Schneider, so we could have some background music. Little did I know that Mister Spazman would pull up, find where the music was coming from and then watch the music video in its entirety. Just like his mom and dad, he recognizes good music. I then turned on another one. Same thing, just stood and stared. I then took out all his instruments and started shaking them to the beat. Russ banged the drums and at times, shook his maracas. My proudest moment was when he started dancing- a little bounce that is pretty darn cute. This is now our new morning routine. We do mom's music camp for as long Russ wants to. So, what have we learned from this little story? Mommy needs $500 for music class.

 ****Russ' Favorite Videos ***
[if you are already a Bob fan, you know he often uses too many f words to feel comfortable about taking your mom to a show. These videos are Russ and Jane approved.] 

 His favorite one is: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mZN0CHclAtw 
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NwRG2VSpTsc
 http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=O991CGNvCfc
 http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mZN0CHclAtw

(I have WAAAAY better pics on my phone but for some reason they aren't uploading on here! ugh!)

Bangin' on the drum

Loving the music videos

Russ pointing to his music video

I knew the poop wasn't normal

I'm thinking back to a different time in my life. I was drinking my jack and sprite at the bar, wearing heels, and arguing with my friends about which Sex in the City character I was most like. Never did I think that in just a few short years I would be calling said friends to ask what their kids' poops looked like. Since some of you who read this haven't hit parenthood yet, we will skip the details. (Just know that one day, you will relate to this discussion.) Anyway, Russ' diapers were out of control and he was becoming fussier by the day. It took many doctor phone calls before someone took me seriously when I said that I thought Russ had a food allergy. Sure enough, he does. He is allergic to MILK. As Evan says, "Every Superman has his kryptonite."

So let me say this about food...I don't come from a family who diets. One time I bought reduced fat Wheat Thins and my Dad immediately asked my Mom if I had an eating disorder. Yes because 1 box of reduced fat crackers= eating disorder. Imagine what would have happened to me if I brought home coconut butter. I would have probably been sent to a juvenile detention center.

Well life has changed. I am now surrounded by hippie food. I happily serve Russ almond yogurt, soy milk, coconut butter, dairy-free bread, etc. I even make him Namaste pancakes, which get this, are $8.99. For pancakes. (* See previous post about me being cheap. This kills me but Russ freaking inhales them.) 

In 2 months we can try to give him food with milk baked-in. Some kids' bodies don't recognize the milk once it's been cooked. I'm hoping this is true for Russ. That would make things a lot easier! Either way, he is so much happier and I don't have to call people and ask them what their kid's poop looks like anymore. If you wanted to know, Russ' kind of looks like organic almond butter.

One is Fun!

Anyone who has had the joy of raising a child understands the excitement of the first birthday party! It the moment when you gather family and friends and throw yourselves a big bash. Let's be honest, who is the party really for? I mean, seriously, Russ would have been just as happy eating a Sammy Jammy in his teepee; It was us, the parents, who were ready to celebrate!

Luckily I didn't have to brainstorm much since we have 2 themes built into our last name.
Batt= 1) Baseball party  2) Batman party *) Maybe for his 21st we combine the two

So, for his first shindig, we made Russ our lil "Batt"boy and a baseball theme it was. If you know us as a couple then you know that Evan and I have a different style of party planning.  I immediately set out and started to make decorations with construction paper and glue sticks. The kindergarten teacher in me allows me to think that anything worth having can be made with construction paper. Also, as most of you know, I'm cheap. Evan is the opposite. He immediately started to google hot dog, margarita, snow cone, frozen yogurt and cotton candy machines. It got out of control so fast, we didn't even know what happened. Luckily, we were able to compromise and the party turned out perfectly! We had a FABULOUS time and want to thank everyone for coming. It was a SPECIAL day for us and we will be sure to tell Russ that he had a good time (well for about 15 minutes of it.)