Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Round 2

Rule #1: Don't hang out with me if you think you may ever want to get pregnant. Why? Because I suck at it. Let me first say that it IS a total BLESSING and I'm thrilled. I'm not saying that because I have to but because I mean it. However, if Evan is even thinking about a 3rd kid, I'll call a lawyer...

You know how some people glow? I hate those people. I get acne, sport grey hair, barf, dry heave, smell bad, get emotional, forget everything, gain like 45 lbs, and even have been known to sport a chin hair. In my culture chin hair isn't lucky or a sign of wealth or whatever, it's just a slap in the face.

You know what's cute? When I ask people if they were sick while pregnant and they respond,  "Oh I was so sick. It was horrible." So then I ask if they threw up a lot and they say,  "No but I felt really car sick." Um... Let me go into detail about something Kate Middleton and I apparently have in common. We barf. Like a lot. I thought I was a champ when I was carrying Russ- I threw up about 10 times a day for 16 weeks. Now I think that's just adorable. My new baby on board had me sick between 25-30 times a day for a little over 2 months and around 10 times a day for another month. I'm now on day 6 without making out with my toilet! Now it's time to get fat, dye the grays, put on my elastic stretchy pants and rock this. 


  1. Again I say- you are such a great writer! Hilarious! You should write a book!

    Side note- I thought of you when I read the news on Kate's hospital visit. Headline read something like "why did Kate Middleton go to the hospital with morning sickness?" I laughed and thought... um because she's a princess maybe? And why didn't Sally Batt go the hospital? because she's a strong chick who rocks this pregnancy thing! :)

    1. I should have gone to the hospital. At least I could have had a few days to read US Weekly and eat jello in peace!